@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
