If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Randomize
