She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
do herpes really smell.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Randomize