I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
