It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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