that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
