i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Randomize
