i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
this hospital has no fireball
My vagina is officially offended.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
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