Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
