I wish I only lived at night.
only if we run a train.
done.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize