i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
