hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize