Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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