So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
