oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
