omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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