Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
