Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
My penis needs a shock collar
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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