Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
