Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize