If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize