she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
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