Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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