I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
