ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
