I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Just fell off a train. Bad.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
