oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
