I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
