Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize