I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
