This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
