Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
