That's when you crack a 10am beer
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
