I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize
