when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
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