oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
