Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
