idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
