Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
