did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
