Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize