omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize