so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
she pinky promised me she was 18
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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