NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Randomize
