I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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