imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize