sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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