Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
