things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
