sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
