Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
