why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
