It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
