Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
