Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
