Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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