You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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