he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
