My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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