She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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