i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I smell stomach acid.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
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