Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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