How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
