Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
