What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
