I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
