Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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