yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
